LoveBlog Why I gave up the man that loved me completely and deeply.




I imagined our future. We'd be happily in love and married to each other.  We'd travel the world. In the mornings, he would make me breakfast, because that's the type of guy he was. The afternoons would be spent making love, because that’s the type of couple we were.  In the evenings, after I'd cooked us dinner, we'd cozy up to each other on the sofa by a fire. Or, in the warm weather, we'd be outside on the porch, reading our books, taking breaks to discuss each of them and getting lost in conversation. We were never at a loss for things to talk about. Then, he would pick me up and bring me to bed because that's what he always did, and I could hardly resist. Eventually, children would come along. He would make an amazing father. A good example of how a man should be. We would take care of each other and each other's families. All becoming one. We would explore the world as our kids grew up, because life experiences are important to us both and we both know travel is the greatest teacher. It would be a pretty damn good life, and we would know it.

I had him. He was perfect. The dream guy. Handsome, intelligent, worldly, perfect body, sweet, silly, we spoke easily to each other about anything, strong, good heart and soul, sexy as hell, dynamite kisser, successful, and best of all he was good to me and loved me for me.

Why would I give this up? It's not that I didn't love him. But I knew I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved, and I want to love a man the way he deserves to be loved.  You may think me dumb or foolish, and there are times I share your sentiment.  I would be happy with this man, I have no doubt of that.

What is happiness? With this man I knew I would have a happy life. I've also been proposed to on multiple occasions. I knew of at least one of them where we would have been happy together. But is that reason enough to get married? Or settle down? Is this reason enough to stay with someone? I think life should be more about what experience you are looking for when it comes to relationships and love. I've loved enough for a thousand life times all before the age of 20. And in my 30s, the love I am experiencing is not that of romantic love but everyday love; love of myself, love of my family, love of friends, love of a beautiful day, love of the chance to love. So what is happiness? What is fulfillment? What makes a happy life? I personally would rather be alone to love the way I want to love, than to be with someone where we are settled on each other. Where we may love each other but do we don't belong to each other for this lifetime. I can feel it. So rather than stay with a man where we would make each other adequately happy, with moments of extraordinary sprinkled in, I chose to set him free. Because somewhere out there is a perfect woman for him, and he will mean everything to her and she will mean everything to him. He deserves that, and I don't want to stand in the way of him finding it.

If you do anything in this life, never settle and don’t be with someone for the sake of being with them.  Love someone the way they should be loved, and be loved the way you should be loved.  Never settle.

Peace, Love and Hugs,

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