Dorothy Stover Love Lesson Episode 26 on the poem Dont Quit. Which inspires to keep going when facing life's challenges.Read More
Filtering by Tag: love
I'm ok if you make fun of me for this love lesson!
All jokes aside, perhaps you feel like you're the gardener in the relationship or maybe you feel like you're the flower. Either way, you don't know how to break out of this pattern or you don't want to. Maybe this will give you permission to do so. If you have a harmonious relationship, sometimes it means having your partner take care of you or you taking taking care of your partner.
It's important to do and be both at some point in your relationship. Think back to a time when you really needed a friend and they were there for you no questions asked. Think back to a time you were there for someone no questions asked. It feels good. It's important. And that's community. Your partner is just one part of your community. Take care of each other. Tend to each other. Give each other what they need. And of course, don't forget about your needs.
Here's this week's Love Lesson Episode. Love Lessons Ep 24 Gardener & Flower
Sending love to you today!
Years ago, my friend Doug Smith planted the freedom seed within me. Over a decade ago he was making moves to be able to work from anywhere with his business True Nutrition . This inspired me. About five years ago, I also began moving toward that type of occupational freedom. I wanted to be able to work from anywhere and to be with those I love, to travel freely and not be tied to just one spot.
Now I have that freedom. I can be anywhere in the world, do what I love and contribute. I work every day and a few times a week, I wash my hair, throw it in rollers and plug away just like this. This is what I look like behind the scenes. I work from my bed when I'm home because my cat Jack will climb all over me if I work from a desk. So I brought the desk to the bed. He lays on my lap or beside me and I work away. I love it! Plus, the bed is where I get all my good ideas 💕
Last year I was able to pack myself and Jack up and help my family. While my mother was in the hospital, I was able to be with her and not think about an office I would have to get back to. Being with her during that time, and then having that freedom in the first few months of mourning her, was such a blessing. So many people don't have that luxury to really dig deep into their grief. I remember getting off the phone with a new client and then bursting into tears. I was alone with my cat. I could break down completely, then slowly put myself back together and go back to work when I felt ready to.
My office is always with me. In the coming months I'll be moving back to San Diego, but I’ll always have time for Nantucket. People ask, "what will you do out there?".
And my reply, "Same thing I'm doing now"!
Working from anywhere does have its challenges. I wake up and I start working. This isn't so much a challenge per se because I love what I do, but the boundaries are not quite clear. There are also days I'm not motivated and if you work from home or have your own business you need to stay motivated. No one is going to cover me or do the work for me. I am 100% responsible. Freedom is precious.💕
One of my gigs that allows me to work from anywhere is with a great company called @tawkify. I'm a matchmaker with them. If you're interested in learning more about being a matchmaker, direct message me and we can chat. If you're into love and helping people, this will be perfect for you!
I have spaces left for The Love School Feedback group. You'll have access to The Love School for life as well as a bunch of great goodies! Email me if you're interested email@example.com
Your health should be your number 1 priority. If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything. This includes your mental, emotional, Spiritual, financial and physical health. Everything is connected. If you feel good, those around you feel good. If you feel like crap, are moody or unstable those around you are effected. So, if you’re mental, emotional, spiritual, financial and physical health are not at a 100% most likely your Love life isn’t either. Side note. Relationship are not always in harmony all the time.
Don’t fret, it takes self care; checking in with yourself and doing the work that is needed to make sure you’re in good health. It means making yourself a priority. It means being selfish every now and then. It means saying no when you want to say no and asking for something when you need it. It means doing what you need to do even when others don’t agree or find it odd. How many of you want to eat better or work out but have others speaking out against it? I certainly know from experience, I had a mentor say to me years ago, “when are you going to gain weight?” I had been eating really well, exercising and taking care of myself. I felt amazing! But this person was insecure with themselves and most people don’t like others to change. Change scares people. And taking care of yourself is very scary to many. Do it! No matter what others think of you or say. Do what you need to do to feel at your best and healthy self. Let others deal with their insecurities .
Which brings us to today's Love Lesson, Your Health Effects Your Relationship. Do whatever it takes to take care of health.
Click here to watch today's Love Lesson 23 - Your Health Effects Your Relationship
This coming Friday, The 22nd of February, I will be hosting a free online workshop, 11 Ingredients For A Great Relationship. Sign up here; http://www.dorothydstover.com/events
If you are reading this after the workshop, I will have a recording and will be able to send to you. Reach out, firstname.lastname@example.org
You don't don't want to miss out on future LoveBlogs, events and specials, join the Love letter Here
Peace, Love & Hugs!
9 Reasons Why You’re Single. Hint: Becauae you're awesome!Read More
1. provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition:
"I was doing everything I could to nourish and protect the baby"
Synonyms; feed, provide for, sustain, maintain
2. keep (a feeling or belief) in one's mind, typically for a long time:
"he has long nourished an ambition to bring the show to Broadway"
Synonyms; cherish, nurture, foster, harbor, nurse, entertain, maintain, hold, have
This past year, Sara Divello has used this word twice when speaking with me. Sara Divello wrote about her experiences of the transition from the corporate world to the yoga mat in her book, ‘Where in the Om am I?’ She guides yoga in the Boston area each week and travels around the world helping people gain insight into their purpose in life through many techniques in addition to yoga. During the 2016 Nantucket Yoga Festival weekend I was lucky enough to be her ambassador. When she arrived, she handed a sweet little bag with a note inside which read, “You deserve to nourish yourself.” Inside the bag were an array of heathy treats she made herself as well as some other items of sustenance for the weekend.
The weekend was hectic and I was grateful for the snacks. Her words didn't register until the beginning of this year when I needed a last minute place to stay in Boston and she opened the doors to her beautiful home to me. I had an early flight and when I awoke, she had prepared a brown paper bag full of goodies with a note written on the front, "Dorothy, stay nourished on your flight to Florida. Xoxo Sara"
This is the moment the word nourish kicked in for me and it's importance as well as the fact that Idon't think I "nourish" myself as best as I can. Without knowing, Sara was giving me valuable advice. I then began to change and remind myself of Sara's words "I deserve to be nourished." I deserve nourishment for my physical body, spiritual body, emotional body, mental body, financial body and energetic body. We all do. We all deserve to be nourished.
Side Note; if you ever get the chance to hear Sara say the word "nourished," do it. For me, the moment I hear her say that word and the way she says it I feel nourished. I feel filled with health and peace. She will be at this year's Nantucket Yoga Festival. Her workshop topics are going to nourish your soul. Not to be missed! Here’s a link to her website which has the classes she offers every week as well the events she will be a part of this year. Follow her on Instagram, FB, or twitter @saradivello to stay abreast of all of her goings on. Her website; http://saradivello.com/
Ways to nourish your body
Body: Savor your food. Eat food that you feel could heal you and make you feel satisfied. I love a salad with lots of veggies both raw and roasted. I’m obsessed with roasted sweet potatoes and Brussel sprouts. So easy to do and so flavorful! Slice up, put the veggies on a tray with oil, salt and pepper. Place in oven for 400 degrees F for 30 minutes.
Soul: Take a walk in nature. Studies have shown that a 15 minute walk in the woods changes and resets the brain chemistry. Allowing you a reboot to your mindset.
Mind: Reading something inspirational and uplifting. Whether it be spiritual or just a beautiful story of love and achievement. I love reading the Power of Now.
Finances: Forgive and be gentle with yourself. Know that everyone struggles and take one step at a time when it comes to paying bills, saving and planning for the future. There are books out there that map out a plan for your finances. I believe, if you have a plan with small steps, anything feels less overwhelming. Look into Dave Ramsey’s book.
Emotionally: Spend time with someone you love. Laugh, hug, cry, tell stories with someone you love and care for. A half hour to an hour can reset your day. No one near by, call someone over the phone.
Energetic Body: Receive or give yourself a massage or body treatment. You can picture white light filling your body, healing your body and wrapping you in a cocoon of light.
Dorothy wears many hats. She’s an author, blogger, guides yoga at Dharma Yoga Nantucket and is a Matchmaker for Tawkify. Years ago she decided that everything she would do in life, she would do for love.
If you found this post to be helpful, please share. And if there's someone you think would benefit from it, please forward onto them. If you like this post and would love more love sent to you join the LoveLetter here. It's free! Just the way love should be.
If you would like to learn more about Matchmaking and if it's a good fit for you or someone you know, click HERE.
If you're looking for yoga and meditation with me, here's the Dh arma Yoga Schedule. Dharma is my yoga home; I guide the beginner series, 5:30-6:30pm every Wednesday at Dharma.
Peace, Love & Hugs! Dorothy
(This week I'm not having anyone look over my blog post for spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm sure this post will be riddled with them. I wanted to make sure I got this out there to you. Thank you for your patience!)
Katie and I love being able to do these podcasts! This week we were able to sit down with our very own Mountain Man, Kelly Steffen. He’s 27 years old romantic and fighter for the underdog. He gave us insight into the dating world we never would have gained on our own. It’s amazing the differences dating when we were 27 vs the 27 year olds now. This week we were engrossed in conversation and lost track of time. It’s a full hour! In the future we will try to keep the posts to 30 minutes or less. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did!
This Week's Podcast with a Kelly Steffen, our Mountain Man - https://soundcloud.com/islandgirlspodcast/episode-3-mountain-man-at
The Love Tip from this week comes from the podcast; Let go of expectations. Hold onto standards.
Expectations ruin things. Having a standard is different. Standards can elevate. Expectations - a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. "Reality had not lived up to expectations" Standard - a level of quality or attainment. "Their restaurant offers a high standard of service"
We would love to hear from you. Listen to the podcast and let us know what you think. What do you think of the current dating world? Anything you think we can do to improve? Anything you love about dating in today’s digital age? Do you like the idea of having standards instead of expectations?
And If you found this post to be helpful, please share. And if there's someone you think would benefit from it, please forward onto them. If you like this post and would love more love sent to you join the LoveLetterhere. It's free! Just the way love should be.
If you're looking for yoga and meditation with me, here's the Dharma Yoga Schedule. Dharma is my yoga home; where I teach and practice.
Peace, Love & Hugs!!!
I can't take credit for the following lists; 10 ways to love and 15 ways to show courage. A few weeks ago I saw the "10 ways to show love" posted on someone's desk and I couldn't help but love this list! Beautiful ways to show you love and care for someone in ways that not only doesn't cost a cent but also helps us to grow and show love to ourselves. When searching for this list yesterday I also found the courage list and felt they both went hand in hand, so I wanted to share them with you. The first list is ways to love from the bible. Im not religious but I do appreciate the stories and the teachings. I also pray everyday, all day. I was raised Catholic and I still go to mass on occasion but I don't follow or believe everything that one believes when they are Catholic. I suppose I would be a mixture of all the main religions. Regardless of where you stand, I thought these lists were powerful and truthful. Maybe you would even find them helpful. There's no love tip this week because these lists are full of ideas. Run away with the one that resonates with you the most.
This Wednesday's yoga offering at Dharma Yoga Nantucket in the hayloft upstairs at Bartlett's Farm we will be getting back to basics with the root chakra. The root chakra is the energy point that rules our basic needs; food, shelter, community, finances etc. come find your footing and feel grounded 530pm Wednesday.
Dharma Yoga Nantucket upstairs in the hayloft at Bartlett's Farm. Yoga Offerings this week. Click here to book your spot.
Monday's. Restorative with Sheri. 830am. All Levels with Ted. 530pm
Tuesday's. Dharma Yoga 830am and 530pm with Joann
Wednesday's. Hatha 830am with Sheri. Hatha 530pm with me.
Thursday's. Dharma Yoga 830am and 530pm with Joann. The night class canceled for this week. These two classes are canceled for this week. There will be a collaboration with Nantucket BlackBook Girls Night In to celebrate six years since Dharma Yoga opened their doors. 6pm in the Hayloft.
Friday's. Hatha 830am with Sheri. This Friday, I will be subbing for Sheri. Candlelight restorative 530pm with Ted and Joann. Class is canceled.
Saturday's. All levels. 415pm with Joann. I will be subbing for Joann.
Sunday's. All levels 830am and gentle 1015am with Joann. I will be subbing for Joann.
If there's someone you think would benefit from this post, please share with them. And if you would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter HERE. It's free! Just the way love should be.
Peace, Love & Hugs!
Want to get hurt in life, love, work, relationships, parenting, or physical activity? Compete with others. While in yoga camp, aka yoga teacher training at Rishikesh Yog Peeth in India, one of my teachers stated that injury only occurs when we compete with others in the room. Isn't it the truth?! We look around to the people next to us. What are they able to do? Let me try to do that too. Then bam, a pulled muscle or we moved our body in a way it wasn't ready for yet.
Recently someone asked me if I practice yoga at other studios besides Dharma Yoga Nantucket. I said, of course. (Although, it's rare.) They kept talking about competition and business. I told them that it is not a competition. That's not what yoga is about. They didn't quite understand, and went on talking about if someone doesn't like your class they will go to someone else, etc. I eventually said, "there's no competition because there are plenty of people to teach for everyone." I didn't go into my viewpoint further because they dropped it once I said that. The core of Yoga isn't about competing. It's about going inwards, not outwards to others. People will be attracted to the teachers that will help them with what they need, when they need it. If someone doesn't like how I am guiding the class or what I am doing, I know there is someone better for them as well. There are students who enjoy how I teach and who I am as a teacher. I want each person, no matter if they are in class with me or with someone else, to receive whatever it is they need. It's not a competition. This can be applied to every area of one's life; when we compete we get hurt.
Don't worry about being better than anyone else. When we worry about being the better parent, about beating out other businesses, or when we compete with others for the affections of someone else, we will get hurt in the long run (or short run). It could be physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, or spiritually, but one way or another it comes back to bite us.
So how does one still succeed? We all have bills to pay, love we want to give and receive, awesome kids we want to raise, we want to have kickass bodies and be our best selves. How do we do this without competing with others? We listen to our hearts. Sounds cliche, I know but it works. And the more you do it, the more fine tuned this guide will become. Listening to your heart allows you to know which direction to go in. It shows you which lessons you need to learn and what is best for you- from food and exercise to the job you have. Listening to your heart is inner rather than outer work. You don't need others to tell you what is best for you. The biggest obstacle is letting go of your ego or your head. Your head or ego will want something but your heart will not. One trick to deciphering ego (head) from soul (heart) is the feeling you get. That lighter than air feeling. Ego wants things for you to make you look better. The heart wants things that make you feel better.
Lastly, if you must compete, compete with yourself. But even then do this with some forgiveness. I love the saying that not even a flower blooms all year. You don't have to either.
Yoga offerings this week.
Wednesday at Dharma Yoga Nantucket upstairs in the hayloft at Bartlett's Farm, 530pm Hatha Yoga class with an emphasis on the heart chakra (energy point). When this chakra is in balance all things you love flow to and from you.
Saturday, 9-10am at Greater Light. One of the beautiful historic spots from the NHA. Book your spot HERE.
Sunday at Dharma Yoga Nantucket up stairs in the hayloft at Bartlett's Farm 830am all levels and then 1015am Gentle.
If you think there is someone that will benefit from this post, please share with them. If you would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter here. It's free! Just the way love should be.
Peace, Love and Hugs!
You may know yourself very well, I'm not doubting that you do. I know for myself, I am always discovering bits of myself. And it's not as if they weren't there to begin with, it's almost like buried treasure that I forgot about. It's a joyful thing to get to know ones self better. The exercises today are to help you (and myself) dig and find the buried treasure within ourselves. At first these exercises will feel awkward but keep at them. You'll most likely find one or a combination which work for you or even come up with your own to help you moving forward. It's exciting work and the best job you'll ever have is working on yourself!
1. Observe life. Have you ever watched a movie and had an "ah ha!" Moment? For a moment, a day or how ever long you deem fit, just observe life around you as though you are watching a movie. You'll begin to see things from a different perspective. Instead of seeing the things those around you are doing wrong, you'll see your part in their life. You'll start to hold less attachment to what is right and what is wrong and be that of scientist taking in whatever comes forward and saving the information for later reflection. In fact, there's no need for judgment when we observe. I love this exercise because it allows us to not judge ourselves or others. Where there is judgment, there is disappointment. I don't want you to be disappointed with yourself or others. I know how it feels and I am not a fan. Anyone else's parents say, "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed"? Almost, a punishment in itself to disappoint someone or yourself. Let's just observe and make no judgments.
2. Allow the world to be your mirror. Maybe you already do this, see yourself in others. Allowing the world to be your mirror and can do countless things. I personally like to observe and then what annoys or bothers me about someone, I look inward to myself, "do I do these things?" Most likely yes. That which we don't like in others, we usually have somewhere within ourselves. Again, make no judgment. You are not a bad person. BecomIng aware of yourself is all you need to do. Later you can heal or transmute from this.
3. Free write. Take some time to just write free form. You don't need to be a good writer. You don't need to know what you're going to write about. Just write. One of the best ways to discover more about yourself is to write. Write a story about nothing. Write a letter you'll never send and no one will ever read. Write a letter to your future self. When I started my first blog, I began on a whim and didn't expect people to read it. Then give yourself a day or a week and reread it. Then repeat. I often write on my phone at random times throughout the day. I find putting down the random thoughts, writing the random stories leads me places within myself I would have never known.
I know all of these exercises may not come naturally to everyone and actually, the less natural to you, the better. When we move outside our comfort zone, we make way for the things we desire in our lives.
Today's love tip is to be open to the possibilities.
One of my favorite tools to utilize the above exercises is yoga. This Wednesday's yoga class that I am guiding will have an emphasis on the solar plexus chakra. The solar plexus chakra rules willpower, strength, power and protection. This can effect us in various ways when this chakra (energy point) is not in balance; lack of willpower, feeling bullied or bullying others. When this chakra is in balance you feel strong, like a peaceful warrior. I also find this chakra related to food. Using my own experience, I have used food as comfort and protection. This has lead to weight gain around my midsection, which covers the solar plexus chakra. During this class at Dharma Yoga Nantucket, located up stairs in the hayloft at Bartlett's Farm we will help to unblock the solar plexus as well as balance it. We will also practice shielding, which will protect you from other people's energies. This way you won't take on other people's negative energies. Perfect for the summer months on Nantucket, large groups of people and any holiday gathering. 530pm. Reserve your spot here, or just show up. We have everything you need from mats to props to eye pillows. There's also a Dharma Yoga Nantucket app for faster bookings and checkins.
If there is someone you think would benefit from this blog post, please forward to them. And if you would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter here. It's free! Just the way love should be.
Peace, Love & Hugs!
There are many reasons why someone won't attend a yoga class. Myself included. But the excuses are just that and shouldn't hold us back. Yoga is for everyone and every body. The benefits are incredible! There are physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and yes financial benefits. There's a study out there that makes the connection between a regular yoga practice with financial stability. Crazy right!
We know yoga can help us, so here are some excuses and how to overcome them.
Gassy. Aka farts
A few months ago, I had a friend say to me "I want to go to your class but I'm afraid I'll fart." You know what I say to this, "Who cares!" And here's why. 1. In almost every single one of my yoga books where the benefits of each pose are listed, included in the benefits are that the pose relieves gas. I will say, the more yoga one practices, the less gas they do have. All the twisting and bending and downward dogging wrings one out sort to speak. It's a natural process. Plus, there are a lot of yogis that are vegetarians and studies show that vegetarians are more gassy than meat eaters...or maybe I just read that on Twitter. Show we someone that practices yoga regularly who says they've never farted or passed gas in class and I'll show you a lier. It's happened to me once or twice. Sure, it's scary and you don't want to disrupt anyone's concentration but it is a natural process of the body. If you are nervous there are a few things you can do to help.
1. Drink more water through out the day.
2. Do not eat or drink an excessive amount of water an hour before class. This helps on many levels. Not eating or drinking an hour before class actually can help you with the poses and move deeper into them.
3. Sit at the edges of the room. Either to the sides, by the door or in the back of the room...maybe by a window will ease your mind.
4. If you feel a fart coming, you can always go to the bathroom or hallway.
5. If a fart sneaks up on you, just cough and then forget about it.
It's for women.
This just isn't true.
Traditional yoga in India is practiced by men. Nowadays, women are exposed to it but it's not the norm to walk into a yoga class and see a room full or women or a female teacher. The norm is men. But in the USA, it's a different story but that story is changing. More and more men are seeing the benefits of yoga and are enjoying themselves. I once taught a class that had more men than women.
I am not flexible.
Here's the deal here. Who truly is flexible? Dancers, gyminsits, as well as those that are naturally flexible. There are some days when I struggle to touch my toes and then others when I can grab the bottoms of my feet. Every day is different. If you want a rule; it takes three to six months of practice 45 minutes a day for the muscles to reach their flexibility. Two years for ligaments to reach their flexibility. After that, it's up to the bone, which is acceptance of flexibility.
Yoga isn't about being flexible. Really and truly it's about whatever you want to make it about. For me, it about moving my energy within my body and breathing deeper. It's your choice always.
I don't have a yoga body.
If you're Breathing then you have a yoga body. You can gain the same benefits (or very close) in child's pose as one can doing a headstand. You can also gain the same benefits just by sitting still and doing deep breathing (pranayama). So really yoga is for everyone and every type of body. There are variations and of course there are some poses that are challenging. The challenge is there for the yogi to expand their mind. But there's more than one path in yoga. More than one way to get into a pose, practice a pose or get out of a pose. Always listen to your heart and your body. Can you challenge yourself today? Or is it just enough of a challenge to hold the space and be on your mat? Either way works. It's your practice. You don't need to do what the instructor is doing. They are there to guide you and if they try to challenge you beyond your limits, be a peaceful warrior and say "I am good. Nameste"
I've never been to a class. I have no idea what I am doing.
Choose the right class and the right teacher. Those that don't like yoga, it's usually because of the teacher. And there's nothing wrong with that. Not every teacher is for everyone. Teachers all have their own styles as well as they are humans. You may have caught them on an off day or maybe their journey is not where your yoga journey is currently. Or maybe their style is not your style. That's ok. I know of people that don't like my classes. The class is too slow and they are looking for more movement and challenging poses. Then I've heard others say after a class, "that's my type of yoga". Each yoga class is merely an offering. When it comes to those that have never been to a yoga class or are new, choose a beginners class. This is going to move slower and have more modifications that are very helpful and more explanation. Plus, usually the class is shorter, which is helpful in the beginning.
I don't feel like going. Or I'm already in my jammies. Or I just want to watch my show on Netflix.
As I learned at yoga camp, that which we resist we need the most. You're going to feel oh so good after class. It's worth it. All you need to do in get in your car or open up the door to your home and begin. Let inertia take care of the rest. Netflix and jammies will be waiting for you at home. Trust me, there are days I would rather have my face in my animals, than make it to my mat but when I do, my world is better.
I can't afford it.
There are free websites galore. There's chair yoga, there water yoga, There's free yoga classes all over the place. Most studios if you plead your case will not turn you away. Call ahead and speak with the owner or manager. Usually, they can figure something out. Most yoga studios don't turn someone away for lack of payment. There are many options; self at home practice using free tools on the Internet, books from the library, tv shows or contacting a studio and coming to an arrangement. There's always a way to practice no matter your financial status.
Which brings me to today's Love Tip - Investing and spending time on your self care is always a good idea. The return on investment is priceless.
Upcoming Yoga and meditation offerings -
Free meditation 4pm every Tuesday at Nantuckets Family and children's services. I'll be guiding this evenings. Drop ins welcome. See flyer below for more details.
There are classes everyday at Dharma Yoga Nantucket. Every Wednesday at Dharma Yoga Nantucket, 530pm I guide a Hatha yoga class. Tomorrow there will be an emphasis with the third eye chakra (energy point) to help strengthen intuition. For all levels. For more information, including to Book a class, here's the website. http://dharmayoganantucket.com
Dharma Yoga Nantucket and the Nantucket Historical Association present yoga at Greater Light. Which is an incredible historic building on the island. Every Saturday during March and April, 9-10am at Greater Light. Book class here. I'll be guiding this coming Saturday. http://www.nha.org/tickets/
Yoga Reaches Out. A yoga marathon that helps those in need. For more information go to their website. http://yogareachesout.org
Nantucket Yoga Festival. Incredible workshops. Including free community classes. Check out website here. http://nantucketyogafestival.com.
If there someone you think would benefit from this, please forward to them. And if you would like more love sent to your email box each week, join the love letter here. It's free! Just the way love should be.
Peace, Love & Hugs!
I was laying down on the day bed, tears rolling down my face, looking at the wall, him rubbing my back. "But you're my best friend. Is this really happening?"
"I don't know." He said softly. In a whisper, my heart broke even more.
"Will we still be friends? I can't imagine you not in my life?" I moved my head to look at him. Looking to him to decide our fate. Hoping he won't say what I think he'll say.
"Honey, I don't think we can do that."
Silence filled the room. The tears began to fill my eyes. I stared off hoping to find distance on the ceiling. Then he spoke.
"You're my best friend too. I wouldn't have been able to get through these past few years without you."
"Why are we doing this then?" I knew we had come to an end, but I still had hope for us. Were we not the perfect couple? Did we not have the solid foundation I thought we had? Desperate thoughts circulated in my head, returning to what a friend had said just days before. That we had a strong foundation.
Silence chilled my body, and the room felt colder than the outside world this late night in February.
"Will you hold me?"
"Of course." He took me into his arms and I breathed him in. I knew it would be one of the last times I would smell him or feel my cheek on his neck. These little things I had treasured since the moment we fell in love. I used to kiss his neck sweetly, and now my salty tears were soaking his skin.
"Let's go back to bed", he whispered as he held me close to him.
He walked me back to our bed. It was the first night in a long time I couldn't sleep. My eyes were wide, and I was fearful of the morning. How things had changed. I used to hold onto him throughout the night, not wanting to let him go when I would have to travel back home. I dreaded the slow drive to the airport and the plane ride home. I would cry because I missed him so much and not having him near me was as though I was leaving my heart behind. Now, I was on the opposite side of the bed. The bed he used to chase me around. I never liked to be touched while I slept until I met him. He needed to hold me at night. "You're chasing me in your sleep again", I would complain. "You can't hide from me. I'll always get you", he would tease. His smile would melt me. Spooning each other was his drug of choice, saying he needed to be close to me. In the beginning, it felt as though I was suffocating. Then holding each other became the only way I could sleep through the night. The only time I felt safe was in his arms; Feeling his fingertips run up and down my spine Or hearing him smell my hair. Now, we were worlds apart and all I wanted to do was reach out to him. Have him hold me and help me sleep. Having his arms and legs wrapped around me was a comfort blanket I didn't know how I would do without. It all became too much, I had to leave the room. How could I sleep next to him and not touch him? I found refuge on the sofa. I woke up to him sitting next to me, "I'll be back later today babe." He kissed me on the forehead. "Ok" I said in a daze. Was last night another nightmare? Was it just a bad dream? My dreams are so vivid, sometimes it's hard to determine what is reality and the dream world.
As he was walking away, he paused and looked back to me. "Let's not tell anyone. I don't want people to worry about us."
I had to hold back the tears. It wasn't just a dream. "Ok", I said hesitantly.
Months later when he shipped my things back to me, I fell to the ground crying, we were really over, what do I do now?
After a breakup, it's so very hard to imagine our lives without the other person. Even when we know we shouldn't be with each other, we are still a part of one another. Being apart feels as though we are incomplete. Sometimes it's for a brief moment, and other times we have to learn to live feeling incomplete.
How do we do this?
It will begin with one minute at a time. Then one hour. Then one day. Then one week. Then one month. Then one year. Soon, this person and who we were with them becomes something from a lifetime ago.
The thing is, you are incomplete but it's not forever. Energetically speaking, we do form attachments via our Heart Chakra. When someone you love is no longer around, our hearts do break a bit. The break, is not forever and you can heal this energetic heartbreak. You don't have to let the pain fester. This breakup was one of my hardest. I didn't know who I was without him. I didn't know my future without him. I didn't know there could be a future without him. I was scared. Fearful I would never love again. Fearful he would never come back. Fearful he would.
The process of pulling yourself together once more is a hodgepodge of clippings and experiences. Mixed up color tiles, making up a kaleidoscope as you twist and turn.
First things first. Someday this breakup, as well as the relationship itself, will make up parts of you that you will come to cherish. They led to better and more wondrous events, experiences and people than you could have ever imagined. You will get through this. The key is to get through and to not look back with sorrow but with joy.
Now, it's time to run away. Some say don't run away from your problems. I sat you're not running away from your problems, you're running to something. You need to gain perspective. Someone else's. You're too far gone to see clearly where you are in this. Find a different vantage point. Whether it's climbing a mountain or visiting a beach. Go where no one knows your name. Go to where you can be just another face in a sea of faces. Or where you won't see another face for miles. Give in to the moments that follow. These may be some of the best of your life.
For me personally, after this breakup, I had one of the best years of my life; I traveled, I met friends I am close to to this day, I moved across the country, I took big risks, some of which panned out, I fell in love again. All in all, I lived big.
What you'll find by way of these experiences is the better version of you, alone. You'll become stronger in ways you never dreamed possible. This will lead you to opportunities some only dream about.
The next step, is to be the best version of your incomplete self.
Love tip: Learn to be incomplete by having life experiences. Embrace it. What do I mean by this?
These life experiences will replace the feeling of being incomplete without your ex, with being incomplete because there's another goal to reach, or a mountain to climb, or a wave to ride, Or another day to love. The incompleteness won't be because of the lack of someone else but because of something else. Something calling to you, and you want to be ready to answer when it does. It's never too soon or too late to feel incomplete through life experiences. To be hungry for more of what life has to offer. You'll hopefully have this feeling until your last breath. And I hope with each experience you gain something new and grow and breathe beyond yourself. For only then will it truly not matter about love lost, but only about the life gained.
Offerings for this week:
Tuesday, February 9th 4pm Meditation at Nantucket Family Services. Just show up at 20 Vespar Lane. http://nantucketfamilyservices.org/
Wednesday, February 10th, Hatha Yoga for all Levels, Nantucket Dharma Yoga. Book your spot here: http://dharmayoganantucket.com/
Sunday, February 14th, 1-3pm Partner Yoga Workshop, Nantucket Dharma Yoga. For anyone who wants a joy, laughter filled afternoon. Come as you are and we will partner you up or bring a partner. Book your spot here: https://clients.mindbodyonline.com/classic/home?studioid=35031
Peace, Love and Hugs,
If you liked this blog and would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter Here. It's Free! Just the way love should be.
An emotional vampire is something that sucks your good energy out of you. How do you protect yourself from emotional vampire situation, people and events? Don't let them in. Be an observer. I'm not saying cut yourself off emotionally from everything. I'm saying be discerning when it comes to your emotions. Easier said than done, I know. It's something I myself am still learning to do. It takes time and practice. Sensitive souls wander this world constantly 'feeling' deeply and often times feeling bad for people and/or events. That doesn’t mean you have to be a martyr. If there is something terrible happening to someone or if there is an emotional event, protect yourself. You can still be there for other people without sacrificing your own wellbeing. Again, I know this is easier said than done. And I don't mean for you to be emotionless. Emotions are what makes us beautiful human beings. I just want you to be protected by other people's energies and situations that may cross paths with your energy. The hope is not to take on someone else's low energy to help them, the hope is to have strong energy and hold the vibration of love.
For example, a friend comes to you for help. Certainly listen and if need be, imagine you both, individually in a cocoon of golden light. This image not only protects you both but helps each of you heal and become stronger. Be there for them. You do not need to take on someone else’s pain. I know your sensitive heart wants to make it all better for others, but this doesn’t help anyone. What this will do is make you sick and them become codependent. What we want is to feel supported while we become stronger. No one wants to make someone else weaker, but it happens naturally when we don’t protect ourselves. Visualizing the cocoon or a protective shield around each of you helps.
When it comes to situations or events, send love and blessings to the situation. Again, make sure to picture yourself protected by a invisible shield of sorts. If you find this difficult, just place your hand over belly and hold it there. If you like, you may even see the situation or group of people protected. It also helps to look for the good. Even if it’s small.
These terrible, sad or heartbreaking moments can strengthen us. This isn’t the time to put up a wall, but instead to have a boundary. Boundaries reflect who you are and who you are not.
Love Tip: Boundaries strengthen everyone involved, walls separate us. Bring down the walls that block out love from coming in and going out. Have clear, peaceful boundaries that are connected to who you are as a person and your beliefs.
This love tip goes beyond emotional situations that can suck the life out of us, choose boundaries over walls.
I hope love flows to and from you always and if you are experiencing an emotional situation of your own, I am sending love to you.
Peace, Love & Hugs!
If you like this post and would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter Here. It's Free! Just the way love should be.
Today's post is written by myself and my best friend Kelly Miller.
We are lucky enough to know and love several photographers, all of whom create stunning images, excel at their craft and are amazing people to boot. One of those absolutely fantastic people is Maria Carey, of Charlotte Carey Photography. Maria has brought an endless amount of love and joy to us and to her other clients. She truly brings out the best in everyone, and she makes you feel empowered to be you!
Let us share with you what we know about Maria. She is a caregiver, an animal lover, super smart, works in the medical field, and pursues her passion for photographing individuals, families, children and animals. She is a Scorpio, which means her love and passions run deep, and she is empathetic and intuitive by nature. These qualities are especially evident as she works her magic to bring out the best in those she photographs, as well as when she cares for her patients at the hospital. In short, Maria shines her light brightly, and she allows those around her to shine as well. In fact, she gives them a platform to shine. Prior to a session with her, Maria gets to know you a bit. Before you know it, it's as if she's gotten a glimpse of your soul, and she's formulated an idea of how she is going to translate it into beautiful images. Her energy and positivity are infectious, and you can't help but smile and have fun!
We would love for you to check out her website HERE where you can enjoy a sampling of her work. Then, come back here and leave a comment telling us something you love about her or her work. That comment will enter you to win today's giveaway, which is a mini headshot session with Maria, or what others have called an 'empowerment photoshoot'! It's unlike any headshot you'll ever have witnessed. Her clients don't necessarily need headshots for a professional reason, but man do they feel their best afterwards! When they receive the photos, they are beyond excited because of how wonderful Maria has made them feel just to be themselves. We can speak from experience. We cried when we saw the fabulous moments she captured of our best friend photoshoot. She is so very talented, and we love her so!
See for yourself why we love her so much! Here's a favorite memory from the best friend photoshoot we had, as well as the headshots of each of us. So happy! So very grateful for these memories!
Peace, Love & Hugs!
If you liked this post and would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter Here. It's Free! Just the way love should be
It seems other average ladies like myself have figured out how to style their hair and how to make their hair stay styled. I am not one of those ladies. Im usually the girl that compliments a woman on her hair and secretly wants her to tell me how she does it. I am a fool when it comes to my locks. My hair has a mind of its own and I have no idea how to control it; sometimes it's curly, Sometimes it's straight, Something it's both at the same time...what the what! Super awkward, unruly, stubborn hair. I've watched plenty of YouTube videos on how to style ones hair but I always fall short. I know it may seem a stupid girl dream but I want to have hair in place and looking beautiful...like I just stepped out of a salon. I think this stems from having a Dorothy Hamel haircut for most of my childhood. My mother not allowing me to have long hair because and I quote "Your face is too small for long hair. We can't see you behind all that hair." Not that I don't love my hair, I'm very lucky. I have a beautiful mop on my head. Still, it would be nice to have the good hair days I seem to see all over town. That feeling of bad hair days changed when I received a sample from Sephora for Phd. Which stands for Perfect Hair Day by Living Proof. Unflipping-believable! I tried it out. The PHD products claim the following on their website;
- delivers the five benefits for a perfect hair day in one easy step- smoothness, volume, conditioning, strength and polish
- styles and treats without compromising one for the other
- keeps your style cleaner, longer
- reduces breakage by 78%, making hair 4.5x stronger
So, I washed my hair with the shampoo and conditioner and then used the phd 5in1. I blow dried my hair and low and behold! I had a good hair day! Plus, it stays styled, looks awesome and lasts for days. I'm feeling proud of myself because I styled my hair almost as well as getting a blowout. The name says it all, Perfect Hair Day. Now, it doesn't all seem like a distant fantasy and almost effortlessly! If you want to try the shampoo, conditioner and other products for yourself, just go into Sephora and ask for some samples. You can thank me later.
Here are photos of my hair over the course of three days and on the fourth day, I will either wash my hair or just braid it or put it up in a bun. Four days is how long a blowout will last for me. Usually my hair gets very greasy plus I am active but dry shampoo helps with that. These photos I didn't use any hair powder. If I did, I would have gained some volume. Disclaimer: I do shower on a regular basis, I just don't wash my hair everyday. 2-3 times a week. And I'm not being paid to tell you about these products or any other products I talk about. If I love something, I want others to fall in love with it as well. These products makes having good hair days easy so that you have more time to do the things you want. No more worrying. I've been using these products for months now and I love the results. Also, a little bit goes a long way. I have the travel size bottles and it's been six months. My hair is long and thick but fine. If I had to describe my hair I would say I have baby mermaid hair.
If you're interested in checking out PHD for yourself plus, I just discovered on their website videos on how to style ones hair, click here for their website. Let me know if it works for you as well as it has for me.
Peace, Love & Hugs,
If you liked this post and would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter Here. It's Free! Just the way love should be.
I love me some yoga! I've been practing since I was little. Really, before I knew what yoga was. I would just stay in the poses and hangout. Then my mother gifted me with a yoga book and then a vhs. (Vhs is the older sibling to dvd). When I was in middle school, a woman would come in during our lunch break and a few of my friends would practice with her. After the class, I would bite into my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the taste was unbelievably delicious! I came to the conclusion that yoga makes food taste better.
Now that I'm older I see that yoga makes everything better; my body, my mind, how I interact with myself and others, my relationships and so much more I can't even put into words. Yoga makes life better. This past spring, I went to India and was enrolled in the 200 hour teacher training at Rishikesh Yog Peeth. Incredible experience. Something I took away from this experience was to not lose my personal practice. We are better teachers when we live it and do it ourselves. I try to remember this everyday. Now I am teaching and it's brought so much joy to my life. I love the one on one experience of teaching privately and I love teaching in a dedicated space. My yoga home is Dharma Yoga Nantucket. I find with each class I learn something new about myself and about others. There are so many yoga benefits but I find, yoga finds people when they are ready. In India, I learned the path to yoga begins when you hit rock bottom. That's the true beginning of ones yogic path. How beautiful and truthful is that?!
For me, the path to teaching began during the Nantucket Yoga Festival. After I emerged from that weekend, I was in a love bubble! It was an unbelievable experience. If you want to experience the weekend for yourself, this year the festival will be July 8-10th 2016. There are some special passes as of now you may purchase. Use the code HOLIDAY and save $75. Click here to do so.
For today's giveaway, I want to share my practice with you. Someone will win a free private session with me. The session will include the asanas (poses) pranayamas (breathing techniques) a healing meditation and a few other items I'll cater to your needs. With today's technology, we don't need to be in the same room. So, if you live off of Nantucket you still qualify. To enter: share this post or comment below.
Peace, Love & Hugs,
If you liked this post and would like more love sent to your email box, join the LoveLetter Here. It's free! Just the way love should be.
For as long as I can remember, red has been my favorite color. If I were Shelby from Steel Magnolias, my signature color would be red. Crimson, burgundy and scarlet, I love it all! Red nails, red dresses and red lipstick. A few months ago, I met up with a guy from high school. He was a freshman when I was a senior. He gave me one of the best compliments I've heard, "you were the first woman I had ever met. I walked into class and you had red lipstick and a dress on. You were so smart, strong and put together. You were my first impression of what a woman is."
I haven't changed that much...my day can take a turn for the better when I put on a red dress and red lipstick!
Here is a break down of what your favorite color says about you.
I want to hear from you! What's your favorite color? Was is spot on?
Peace, Love and Hugs,
If you liked this post and would enjoy love sent to your email, join the LoveLetter here. It's Free! Just the way love should be.
What Your Favorite Color Says About You.
If your favorite color is red, you are action oriented with a deep need for physical fulfillment and to experience life through the five senses.
If orange is your favorite color, you have a great need to be with people, to socialize with them, and be accepted and respected as part of a group. You also have a need for challenges in your life, whether it is physical or social challenges.
Choosing yellow as your favorite means you have a deep need for logical order in your everyday life and to be able to express your individuality by using your logical mind to inspire and create new ideas.
If green is your favorite, you have a deep need to belong, to love and be loved, and to feel safe and secure. You need acceptance and acknowledgment for the everyday things you do for others - just a 'thank you' is sufficient.
Lovers of blue have a deep need to find inner peace and truth, to live their life according to their ideals and beliefs without having to change their inflexible viewpoint of life to satisfy others.
Indigo lovers have a need to feel in harmony and at one with the Universe and to be accepted by others as the aware and intuitive spiritual beings that they are.
If purple or violet is your favorite color, you have a deep need for emotional security and to create order and perfection in all areas of your life, including your spiritual life. You also have a deep need to initiate and participate in humanitarian projects, helping others in need.
If your personality color is pink you have a deep need to be accepted and loved unconditionally.
If turquoise is your favorite color your deepest need is to create emotional balance in your life, to be able to express your hopes and dreams no matter how idealistic they may be and to make your own way in the world under your own terms.
If your favorite color is magenta, you are a non-conformist who sees life from a different point of view.
Lovers of Brown have a deep need for a safe, secure, simple and comfortable existence with supportive family and friends.
Lovers of black have a need for power and control in order to protect their own emotional insecurities.
If white is your personality color, your deepest need is for simplicity in your own life and to be independent and self-reliant so you do not need to depend on anyone else.
With gray as your favorite color, you are the middle of the road type, cool, conserved, composed and reliable. You tend to conform just to keep the peace.
If silver is your favorite, you are intuitive and insightful and have a strong connection with a higher spiritual guidance.
With a personality color gold, you radiate charisma, personality and individuality, making others feel relaxed and valued in your company.
If you liked this post and would enjoy love sent to your email, join the LoveLetter here. It's Free! Just the way love should be.
Winter on the island can be cold, dark, and lonely with nothing to do, especially come the weekend. But last winter, I discovered the best happy hour, just perfect for chilly, wintry evenings- candlelight restorative yoga. The first class I attended felt like a warm hug from a beloved friend I hadn't seen in a long time and missed dearly. It was a slice of heaven, and it was just what my body was calling for. The soft light of candles fills the room, you do about three to five poses supported by blocks and bolsters. It feels as though you are receiving a massage; the room is inviting, the music is soothing and the lighting is easy on the eyes. It's perfect for those that have had a stressful week, are injured, or who have never practiced yoga before. It's heaven on earth!
Your body is truly able to not only relax, but restore itself to its natural state. Regular stresses throughout our days can prompt our bodies' 'fight or flight' responses, throwing our bodily systems out of whack. This lovely yoga practice helps return the state homeostasis within the body. Homeostasis is when all of the systems in your body are functioning in harmony, and your body is able to heal itself, while you are able to think clearly and be at peace. If you're on Nantucket, make sure to check out Dharma Yoga's Friday night candlelight restorative yoga class at 5:30-6:45pm up in the Hayloft at Bartlett's Farm. I hope you'll get back to me and share the part you loved the most. If you're off island, there are plenty of places that offer restorative yoga, ask if they would be willing to do it by candlelight. Your body will thank you for it!
Also, Dharma Yoga Nantucket is having a restorative yoga workshop this Saturday from 1-3:00pm upstairs in the Hayloft at Bartlett's Farm. It's going to be delightful!
I would love to hear from you; have you tried restorative yoga before? What ways do you unwind? Maybe this is something you're willing to try?
Peace, Love & Hugs,
if you liked this post and would like more love emailed to you join the mailing list here; www.eepurl.com/baubb
40 Days of Love – Day 6 – Nantucket
I believe Nantucket Island chooses people. I believe if you’re living on, or visiting the island, you are here for a reason. I believe the island can heal people. I believe this island of Nantucket to be more powerful than we give it credit for. I am a seventh generation Nantucketer. I’ve seen photos of yesteryear. I grew up on this picturesque island, watching the landscape change, but still seeing itsbeauty shine through witnessing the best sunrises and sunsets in the world. Feeling the island change with the seasons,feeling her come alive in the spring and sleep during the winter. Those who are on the island at any given time seem to tune in to the island’s natural clock. Island time is real! After living all over the United States, traveling abroad, and even after spending my childhood and teenage years here, Nantucket is the place I call home. My home base is Nantucket and I love her!
I want to hear from you. What do you think? Is the island a living, breathing thing? Do you think the island chooses people?
Peace, Love & Hugs,
Here are some photos I have taken from around the island. I hope you enjoy!
Enter to win! To enter to win, join our mailing list and share this post or comment below by either tagging someone or something you love.
If you like this post and you want love sent to your email box, subscribe here…it’s free…The way love should be! http://eepurl.com/bauHbb
Giveaway Details below
40 Days of Love – Day 5 – Hugs + Giveaway
We have made it to Day Five of the things I love! This is very exciting for me, which brings me to something I love:hugs! I was in New York City recently and I walked into a shop. I was greeted by a bubbly woman with bright brown eyes, “Welcome! How may I help you?”she chirped. I told her I saw the display and I wanted to check things out because it looked heavenly in there. We got to talking about love and life. I had to get going, so I told her goodbye and hugged her. (Sometimes I get caught up in the moment and forget to ask if I can hug someone.) As I hugged her, she thanked me for hugging her. “Thank you for hugging me!” I replied. She told me she was new to the city and loved living there, but it was different from “home.” Hugs were a rarity. Hugs are a rarity no matter where we live. I am always amazed at what a hug is capable of. A hug can make a person feel loved, supported and cared for. A hug is a way to melt our walls, and a way to feel connected to others. What a gift it is to hug and to be hugged.
Did you know that hugs release oxytocin and serotonin which can boost the immune system, combat feelings of depression, anger and loneliness. It is extremely effective at elevating the levels of happiness. Hugs relax our muscles, increase the circulation of blood flow, and allows the central nervous system to take over from ‘fight or flight.’ All of this, and it doesn’t take that much time to give/receive a hug. It has been said, that we need four hugs a day to survive, eight for maintenance and twelve to thrive. I am sending a virtual hug to you!
I want to hear from you. Do you think hugs can heal? Are you willing to hug someone you don’t know?
Giveaway – Today’s giveaway is one I hope you’ll participate in, and a way for us all to be a winner. Hug those you interact with today. If it gets weird, just say you’re doing one of Dorothy Stover’s Challenges where you’re supposed to hug everyone you talk to for the day. The beautiful thing about a hug is you can’t give a hug without getting a hug. The benefits flow both ways!
If you see me on the street, I am more than ok with you running up and hugging me…I’ll hug you right back!
Peace, Love & Hugs,
Enter to win! To enter to win, join our mailing list and share this post or comment below by either tagging someone or something you love.
If you like this post and you want love sent to your email box, subscribe here…it’s free…The way love should be! http://eepurl.com/bauHbb